There's something to be said for new beginnings and lessons learned. Neither is easy to do but both are sometimes necessary to grow as a person. It's sad that some choose to never do either to avoid walking the harder path. I more then understand how hard it can be to be "alone", yet have learned that sometimes it is better to be alone then to endure the sickness that can come of unhealthy relationships and uncertainty.
There is something that has really bothered me these last few years since being on the "single" scene. On the scene I see beautiful, strong, independent, and intelligent woman seriously making themselves sick with insecurities over guys that don't even deserve to spit shine they're shoes never mind have the power to break their hearts. I look at these woman and realize that each and everyone of them are amazing and deserve happiness, yet all of them make the same mistakes when it comes to love and relationships. They could be a killer shark of a business woman or a single mother struggling to make ends meat. All so diverse, yet all brought low by insecurities and unhealthy relationships.
I have seen many of these woman work so hard in every aspect of their lives to be successful, no matter how hard it was to do. Yet when it comes to loving someone that isn't good for them, they would rather cut themselves off from friends and family then walk away from someone that everyone else can see is clearly NOT good for them.
WHY???? Why do we do it? Why, time after time, after time do we continue to do it?
I have thought SO hard about this and the only answer that I can come up with is that it is because we are all looking for "the one", "our soul mate", that guy that is going to make us so happy that life is never going to be the same. Each of these amazing woman are all looking for the same thing, because we are all raised to believe in fairy tale endings. After thinking about this for a really long time, and wondering to my self if there really are fair tale endings, I realized that, in a sense, there really aren't "Fairy Tale Endings", but there are happy endings. However, making your self sick over a guy that is stringing you along or not treating you the way your deserve to be treated is NOT even going to get you to happy ending.
In the words of Kelly Clarkson "Break Away"! If something is meant to be than it always finds a way to work its self out, but it is better to walk away from an unhealthy relationship and be alone then it is to stay and waste your time on a guy that's probably NOT going to be your happy ending.
Honestly, stand in the mirror and ask yourself who you are, where you are going and how you want to get there. Make some standards for your self and stick with them. Everyone jokes with me about "my rules" but honestly all my rules are, are standards. What the hell is so wrong with a girl having standards? I'm not a snob and I am not a person that is going to judge someone based solely off of one standard. I KNOW that everyone is an individual and different people are different, and yes, sometimes you can find love in the least unexpected place, but what I will not bend on, is what I deserve. Everyone deserves to be treated right and with respect, and if a guy can't do that then he isn't worth your time. I digress, my point is ladies that if you don't have standards and allow a guy to treat you like shit, or disrespect you then you need to wake up because if you don't demand that respect and insist on being treated like the woman you are then why should a guy bother to respect you? If you won't allow a friend to treat you the way some guy is then why the hell would you allow some guy to treat you that way?
I am honestly guilty of making this mistake over and over again, but I truly hope that I am smart enough to NOT make it again. They say hind sight is twenty twenty, and it is SO true but my grandmother also to always say "why should a man buy the cow if he can get the milk for free?" I used to shake my head at my grandma and say "Gram, times are different". It wasn't until recently that I made the connection that, that phrase isn't just about sex. Its about a LOT more. It's about respect. It's about realizing that if you don't insist on being treated like the woman you are, then why should a man treat you that way? Stop making it so easy for assholes to have that kind of power over you! If you start expecting more you might still someday find your happy ending.
I know there are guys out there that are going to read this and say that it's not a one sided thing, and I agree, but guess what... I'm a woman and can only write from my prospective about what I see, so if you want to comment guys, please feel free without giving me shit about this being one sided.
Love 2 you all
~MJ~
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