Maiden, Mother, Crone

The Maiden

I was born into darkness and depravity and fed anger, hate, resentment and bitterness more often then actual fod.

I lived on a diet of darkness and only once ever knew or saw glimpses of the light and a different life as a child. 

The Mother

Until the day life grew inside of me and was taken away. The day I truly became a mother was when I truly began to live. From that moment forward I saw the world differently and I could never go back and never again be the same.

In Motherhood I found all that I had never really known existed in more ways then words ever could have said.

So when I had my daughter I promised her a different life. Something better, something good and something right. 

We grew together she and I and we learnedd about pain, about disappointment, and about life, but we also learned to laugh and to love each other through the darkness, because we knew no matter how dark life got that eventually light would come again. So long as we laughwd and never gave up the fight, so long as we loved our world would always have light. We found healing together 

And learned to not just survive but to love life and thrive. To never give up and to continue the fight.

Next came my son, tinged with darkness and light, born into this world in a the moment between my death and my life. 

An old soul is what my son was, one who had many lifetimes and remembered them, not just this one.

My daughter was my sun and my son was my moon. My life became theirs and theirs became mine. Three souls connected and then came the real fight. To grow and to heal and to walk in the light, to not hate the part of me born in the deepest darkness afraid of the the light. For far to long I erased her, wished she hadn't ever existed at all.. until finally with time came wisdom and something changed me inside.

I spent my life building the world I thought I should want, a world I thought my children would need. I tried to build houses over a foundtion of rott, the walls would all eventually crumble and break and stones turned to just mud and straw.

It wasn't until one late night as I cried all alone by the ocean. As I gazed up at the bright stars and admired their shine. I envied their ability to shine stay so bright, especially in the deep darkness and in a place with no life.

It was then that I remembered something my grandmother, a very wise woman, once said. Baby girl don't fear the darkness any more or less than the light for the deepest of shadows only comes from the brightest of lights. Life is a balance of both not just one, we couldn't exist in this world with no moon and stars, and just always the sun. It takes both light AND darkness for the living to thrive. For only corruption can come from too much of anything at one time, unbalanced darkness oDon't hate the wounds earned in the dark, don't hate the scars that left you marked. For those are your story, all parts of you and no one will ever know their tur with if you hate them, not even you.

The Crone

Now as I enter the longest stretch for a soul, my turn in the phase as a crone. I do it with wisdom, dignity, integrity and pride and I do It with heart and eyes open wide. Rather than cover my scars, I put them on display because they tell my true story of what I lived through and that I survived.

As I enter my time as a crone, I have strength and have seen wonders most will never know. Because I learn d to not just live with but love who I become and then I thought my children how to do exactly the same. 

The secret to happiness isn't something you look for and find it's a choice we have to make deep down inside.

The message my grandmother gave to a child was, at last, received by the crone, many years and thousands of miles from the place she once called home.

Home and happiness can't be found no moaater how far we search, because they aren't a place, but rather a choice that our souls each have to make. 

To love all of who we are both darkness and light and that the only way to truly lose is by giving up on yourself and your life.

Memories are the true treasures and the only things in the end that still matter when we're gone. 

From birth unto death and as each night turns to dawn the love and laughter is all that's left of us in this world when we've gone.