Today as I was talking to a close friend we both came to a realization, and it is that, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice that you have. She is currently walking away from an abusive relationship and realized that the reason she didn't leave the first time she tried, was because she thought it could be fixed. At this point in time, she has came to understand that she has done everything that she could do and that the individual isn't going to change because he doesn't want to change. She now has no other choice but to do whats right, be strong, and walk away.
I know for a fact, that coming to this realization is one of the hardest things for a person to do, especially if that person is a "Fixer", someone who believes that they can help someone change. Many of us, at some point in our lives, find our selves in a relationship with someone who isn't good for us or is dangerous to us or themselves. The mistake that many of us make, is that we try to change that person whether they want it or not. The realization and outcome in most of these situations is that we find ourselves metaphorically banging our heads against the wall with frustration because we never succeeded in changing that person but instead have ourselves changed because of the pain we endured trying to change or help someone change that doesn't actually want to be helped or change.
This is the point when you find you must be strong because you have no other choice but to do what you must and that is harder to do then most people think. You see, all though before entering a relationship like this you may be a very strong outgoing person, that abuser chips away at who you are... piece, by piece, by piece until you are molded into someone you don't even recognize. So although you may have been someone that never would have taken shit from anyone it is common for you to become someone that just ducks your head and pretends that it's okay for someone to call you names or tell you what to do or even hit you, and if someone points out your "flaws" long enough, it's all you will see when you look in the mirror.
It's not, ok, and it's not easy to remember that, but don't give up! When your feeling down, surround yourself with the positive people, because, with the right people in your life, the ones who refuse to give up on you, even when you feel like you have given up on yourself, you CAN, and WILL remember who you ARE/WERE, and who you CAN be, again.
Just take one step at a time...
https://youtu.be/SRUCgpOv9Ck
Love 2 you all!
~MJ
I know for a fact, that coming to this realization is one of the hardest things for a person to do, especially if that person is a "Fixer", someone who believes that they can help someone change. Many of us, at some point in our lives, find our selves in a relationship with someone who isn't good for us or is dangerous to us or themselves. The mistake that many of us make, is that we try to change that person whether they want it or not. The realization and outcome in most of these situations is that we find ourselves metaphorically banging our heads against the wall with frustration because we never succeeded in changing that person but instead have ourselves changed because of the pain we endured trying to change or help someone change that doesn't actually want to be helped or change.
This is the point when you find you must be strong because you have no other choice but to do what you must and that is harder to do then most people think. You see, all though before entering a relationship like this you may be a very strong outgoing person, that abuser chips away at who you are... piece, by piece, by piece until you are molded into someone you don't even recognize. So although you may have been someone that never would have taken shit from anyone it is common for you to become someone that just ducks your head and pretends that it's okay for someone to call you names or tell you what to do or even hit you, and if someone points out your "flaws" long enough, it's all you will see when you look in the mirror.
It's not, ok, and it's not easy to remember that, but don't give up! When your feeling down, surround yourself with the positive people, because, with the right people in your life, the ones who refuse to give up on you, even when you feel like you have given up on yourself, you CAN, and WILL remember who you ARE/WERE, and who you CAN be, again.
Just take one step at a time...
https://youtu.be/SRUCgpOv9Ck
Love 2 you all!
~MJ
